Unwanted Commentary

So I was thinking about how Santa Clause can deliver his presents to good boys and girls all over the world in a single night, and then it came to me. Obviously, for him that night is eternal until he completes his task. So while we're all snug in our beds getting our 7-8 hours of sleep and enjoying the proper number of REM cycles there's a poor fat bastard in a red suite struggling through every extreme environment on earth to give away, for free, the fruits of a full year's worth of labor. I think we've been getting it all wrong this whole time, Chris Kringle isn't a saint, or kind hearted chap who gives toys to nice children, oh no, he's a damned soul cursed to live out an eternal night. And the real kicker is when he finishes he has to return to one of the most harsh areas of the planet, that's infested with elves, and begin preparing for it all over again from scratch. You then add on to this the massive logistical and bureaucratic nightmare of keeping track of the nice or naughty level for every bloody child on the globe, and you can come to no other conclusion. Santa is being punished for something. Why else would an elderly obese gentleman choose an open cockpit to fly at high altitude, behind reindeer? Sure, reindeer are majestic, beautiful and all that, but would you want to fly behind twelve of them for an eternal night? That can not be hygienic. Clearly this was all chosen by demonic beings.

I'm imagining that at some point in the distant, dark past there was some fellow who did something very unpleasant, and this upset some ancient deity that thought this was a fitting punishment. Though I guess it could be a position of punishment, something that a bad person does for a certain period of time until they either die or get replaced by a badder person. I mean if you live forever, then one eternal night would be no big deal. I have to think you'd get used to it eventually, and it wouldn't be a punishment anymore. It would be like working for the state.