Base Division by Zero
When you’re already an asshat you really shouldn’t go around doing things that make you even more of an asshat. Especially when you’re starting off with, at the very least, one foot in the asshat hole because you have that strange little streak of white in your otherwise normally colored brown hair. Why? Why the fuck is that there? For the love of God man, do something about that. Just. For. Men! Try it.
Now I understand that once you’re already starting from a well entrenched asshat position the instinctive thing to do is ride that bitch for all it’s worth and simply be what is most advantageous to you. But I think you should consider circumstances before unleashing your asshateous spores into the public air space for all of us to inhale. For instance, I am a computer technician and as such my job often requires me to go into offices that are not my own. This in no way means that I have taken that person’s job, I assure you I am just visiting and once I have completed the requirements of my job I will leave.
Once that sinks in you might also consider that I have also NOT morphed into the person that regularly occupies that chair, nor have I assumed their name. Greeting me with the client’s name is NOT, generally, a good way to start off interaction with me, especially when you’re a known asshat. Now, you could stop there and walk away, but like I said I understand that the inclination is to ride that bitch for all it’s worth; which, evidently means you think that since I am a.) not the person who normally occupies the office or b.) I have not taken their name for my own, that obviously I am their god damned keeper. That somehow in learning how to resolve issues in Windows XP I have also gained super psychic powers allowing me to know the movements of the computer’s user. I can barely stress how little I care that the user is burdened by SPAM in the first place, I just don’t know how to convey that there is no mechanism in this plain of reality to measure my concern for where the user has gone once they leave my visual field. That is unless I need their password. Indeed, it would be folly for me to even guess, because I believe the quantum physics I learned from a sci-fi book said that once an object leaves my sight it instantly becomes multiple objects and who am I to fuck with quantum physics?
So, please, I realize you're a doctor and that you’ve been at school for a very long time. I allow for a certain level of asshatery based on this alone, but there really is no need to push the envelope. Just no need at all.