Unwanted Commentary

The Chinese are an ambitious lot and my hope is that I may learn their language so when they take over our country they might spare my life. The entire ploy is to become familiar enough with the yellow man’s culture so that I might grovel sufficiently and in appropriate enough manner that he will deem me worthy enough for one of the better sweat shop jobs and my allotment of rice will be slightly higher than the rest of you evil white capitalist pigs. That said I was a little dismayed when I recognized what might be a “flaw” in their otherwise cunning strategy to destroy our divine culture and my notion of their perfection was somewhat dampened. It’s no surprise that there may be some culture chasms for which both nations are unprepared for and that is the only reason I can fathom that our little communist adversaries are planning to release a car named Geely in the United States.

Sure it’s spelled differently, but I think they underestimate the white man and his deviant society, because if there’s one thing we delight in more than almost anything else it’s reveling in the misery and disaster of celebrities while watching them fail spectacularly. This is why I predict doom for this automobile launch. No American is going to want to drive a car whose name is going to instantly remind people of that horrible, horrible Bennifer vehicle that burned actual holes in the corneas of certain demographics that tried to view it. Americans may always pull for an underdog, but we are loath to associate with a known looser.

Just as I was getting comfortable with the idea that it is only our culture that rarely heeds the warnings of history I find out that the Chinese also suffer from the same malady. It’s easy to see how our Government could easily misunderstand, underestimate and act completely bewildered by the resistance encountered after our little adventure into Iraq, but there is no excuse for those clever yellow devils to ignore the obvious historical warning of the Chevy Nova and our attempt to market it in Mexico. Obviously, if they’d been paying attention they would have learned from our example.

The only reasonable answer to this Chinese conundrum is that they are gamblers. Risk takers of the highest degree or, as is probably the case, they hold our collective intellect in the lowest regards. Another possibility is that they saw how well the popular Compaq Armada laptops sold in the states. Now Armada is not a name I would associate with any product, but the fine folks at what was once one of the PC industry’s primary power houses ignored my sage advice and stuck with it. It worked out for them I guess, but then they got bought out by Hewlett Packard. We’ll call it a draw. Okay, this could be a rambling tangent, or you might call it a forced effort to cram another joke into an already overly long post. You might be right. I think the more important question for the Chinese is: How well did the Armada laptops sell in Spain, eh?