Unwanted Commentary

Disappointing: Watching helplessly as the lens to your glasses falls to the shower floor at the gym.

Travesty: Bending over to pick up the lens (don’t worry, private showers) and discovering that the frame has snapped.

Debacle: Trying to figure how the fuck you’re going to make it through the day now that your capacity to visually identify the world has been halved.

Dangerous: Navigating to the grocery store for superglue with only one eye.

Aggravation: First grocery store doesn’t open until 10:00 A.M. WTF? Lolzorz!

Introspective: Wondering what the cashier is thinking when you arrive at the checkout squinty eyed with a tube of super glue, bananas and a can of green beans?

Accomplishment: Successfully repairing frames with super glue without adhering anything to my person in an awkward fashion, and making it to work on time.

Apprehensive: Wondering if at any moment the adhesive super powers of the glue will give up the “ghost” and leave me visually hindered again.

Posted by Jeff at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Made it back from Waco. In a bit of post-holiday doldrums I suppose, not feeling very creative or optimistic at the momemnt. Got really smashed Saturday night, watched hockey at the pub and then listened to Seamus Stout until Dustin showed up. Dustin drove me home, that was a good thing. Nice evening all-in-all and glad I went out even if it was by myself...maybe a little over enthusiastic with the Guinness, but what's a fellow to do?

Meh

Posted by Jeff at 04:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Out for a bit due to seasonal festivities. Headed down to that great bastion of culture and civilization nestled deep in that Heart o' Texas I'm sure you've all heard so much about. There will be parents, grandparents, my 6'0 cousin Rachel, assorted relatives and, of course, eating of traditional Thanksgiving fare and all that. I won't say where we'll be eating as I don't want to give the impression that my family and I are a bunch of red neckish types...but we are, so...yeah.

Be thankful my beligerant filthy readers...be safe, have happy times and what-not.

Posted by Jeff at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I now rule a country. You may visit our webspace by depressing the button on your pointing device here. Bring tribute or we'll CUT YOU!

I encourage others to rule their own country...you fuckers stay out of mine! Crime is a problem already! And I know what kind of element you people represent.

Oh yeah, found via Miz Adena

Posted by Jeff at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Wow, today is quite a red letter day in history. November 22nd involves explorers, pirates (HARR!), volcanoes, assignations and Margaret Thatcher (pip, pip!).

Posted by Jeff at 08:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

And here I was all ready to blather on endlessly about how lovely my weekend was. On the way back from the gym, just as I was driving through the auto-gate mechanism the radio informed me that Glenn Mitchell had died sometime early Sunday morning. If you’re an NPR junkie then you realize the significance, if you are not then just know that a really neat guy is no longer on our plane of existence and you should mourn. For someone I’ve never met I’m deeply saddened and there was actual tearing up upon hearing the news.

So, farewell Glenn, we will miss you and may your passage to the other side be swift and expeditious. Here’s hoping that the boatman doesn’t dicker too much for the passage, because, really, you never know what the economy is like beyond the veil.

/mourn

Posted by Jeff at 08:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I’ve always contended that strong emotions are an excellent catalyst for writing. Scribbling down words can often times provide an alternate channel for energies that can, more often than not, lead to rash action. Right now I am attempting to redirect…oh fuck it, I’m pissed off. Those god damn wankers at Blizzard refuse to give me my gold back and it has me on the very edge of pushing the Cancel Account button. If for no other reason than it is the only way I can think of telling them to go stick rocks up their pee holes, you know, without actually phoning them up and saying, “Go stick it up your pee hole.”

Ugh, it’s just a stupid nasty little game, but this has me completely flustered and I’m trying to justify my level of hot headed emotion by telling myself it isn’t about the lost virtual property but about the level of customer service. Even if I did make a very stupid mistake and pay 89 gold for two mana potions, which I absolutely did not, I’m having a hard time convincing myself that the tech support are justified in their response. I realize that there is a large contention of the WoW population who are hot headed, immature and general fuck ups always on the lookout to wrangle an advantage from of the game. I’m certain that the WoW gamemasters have to deal with these frelling smackheads on a regular basis. What I do not appreciate is feeling like they regard me as one of them.

I know the amount of time I’ve invested into the thing would seem to indicate otherwise, but I am a casual player. It’s something I do to pass the time and it allows me to spend time interacting with friends in some purpose driven environment, if that makes sense. I often thought about quitting the game so that I could pursue things that I consider more worthwhile. And not subscribing to the game would break open a lot of time slots due to a condition of mine: if I’m paying for a service I feel I have to utilize it as much as I can in order to obtain maximum value. My anger is making my dialing finger itchy, but I feel that if I leave the game in a huff then I’m doing a sort of disservice, or something, to the people I convinced to play the game with me. Seems wrong somehow to invite them to the party and then leave after having a hissyfit just as they arrive. /shrug

I’m not sure I’ve redirected any energies. I do know that I’m crabby now and quite liable to snap at you. Grrr. I do know I shall go get some more mini tootsie rolls. I know that I shall grumble about the lack of any larger sized toosie rolls.

Oh, if I do suggest to Blizzard that there are certain orifices of their collective bodies that they could copulate with…what other MMOs should I look into? EQ2, StarWars Galaxies, Guildwars or something I don’t know about?

Posted by Jeff at 04:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

Could this be the best site...ever? Initially...yes!

Posted by Jeff at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tommy James constructed this slice of psychedelia from his favorite color and his favorite flower. Or it's about the ganj.

Oh, and ladies. Remember, bend at the knees! The knees! It is not that I don't enjoy getting the full moon treatment, but I hardly think it is appropriate in a professional enviornment. ...but I guess that depends on the profession...

Posted by Jeff at 03:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yes, something did happen that I would firmly plant in the supple soil of a pot labeled mysterious. Was it some malicious act of prestidigitation? I don’t know. Yesterday afternoon I logged into the game and amongst various other activities I purchased two Superior Mana potions for what I believed, at the time, to be eighty-nine sliver pieces. I then created an auction for a Golden Pearl, tootled around a bit more and then logged off. Later that evening when I got home I logged in to check if my auction had sold, and indeed it had. For thirty gold coins! I was very pleased. Unfortunately when I checked to see how much gold was now clinking around in my bulging monies pouch I found that I had substantially less than basic mathematics would dictate, especially with the recent addition of my astute virtual capitalistic earnings.

I promptly sent a request to the GameMasters to report the issue, all the while hoping that something foul and nefarious had not occurred. Had I been haxxored? Was I lolzor? I could not imagine any scenario where some large portion of my gold would suddenly disappear and I wracked my feeble grey matter as to what could have happened. Two in-game GameMaster requests and replies later I find out that their records indicate that I spent not 89 bits of silver on the potions, but 89 gold! Of course, I protested that this was not the case and there must be some error or glitch to which they reiterated that the logs showed I spent 89 gold. They gave me some steps on removing custom UI add-ons, said they were very sorry for the inconvenience, but they could not reimburse my lost gold.

What followed was a myriad of emotion, a veritable roller coaster between raving lunacy and cold calculated manipulation. One portion of my psyche told me to get over it. It is after all just a game and in the long run of world harmony it is absolutely not a big deal. Another portion of my psyche told me that I should scream, curse in seven languages and machine gun the Blizzard offices for this intolerable act of sedition. Fortunately a third, more rational portion of my psyche informed me that I should look on the website and see if there was some more civilized way to vent my grievances. I took the advice of the third portion and have submitted a request to Blizzard, and honestly that’s best for everyone. Especially since my machine gun is in the shop right now.

And I don’t know how to curse in seven languages.

Posted by Jeff at 08:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You Belong in the UK

Blimey! A little proper, a little saucy. You're so witty and charming... No one notices your curry breath

Found via Mr. Adam

Posted by Jeff at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I did something last night, all alone in the privacy of my apartment. The lights were turned down low and it gave such a feeling of exhilaration and satisfaction that I’m still buzzing AS WE SPEAK. There are some things one can do in the company of others and the moment will loose none of its potency, but are just as, if not more so, profound when done in the solitude. For instance, one is allowed that quiet contemplation and concentration without having to be considerate of others and then as you finish up you can ride that peak of revelry for as long as you want.

I am of course alluding to the scribing and turning over to the postal system of my next-to-last car payment! At long last the folly of having too much money, recently divorced and in dire need of some sort of penis enhancement *slash* ego boost will be repaired. I was not a victim of the Internet bubble, but a victim of the sumo like conflicts of the oil barons. They gave me lots of money to fix their digital binary calculating machines and I in turn “invested” it into a convertible Cobra Mustang, then they sold the company and kicked me out the door. A Cobra is not an inexpensive device to maintain.

Next month will be the end of it all, at which point I’m quite certain that the thing will be sucked into some sort of space-time vortex or eaten by car goblins. Because that IS what happens once you make the last payment.

Oh, and I finally got my new ATM/Check card from that stupid bank and I got my deposit check back from the apartment people! Callooh Callay, extra greenbacks!

Posted by Jeff at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I’ve been bitten by the new computer bug. I’ve been poking around certain websites in search of information so that I can make an informed consumer decision. I stopped in at Fry’s on Sunday, on a whim, and I came very close to making some impulse purchases, but my inner geek will not let me buy computer components when I have to rely on those dweeby sales clerks. I much prefer to tell them what I want in a commanding tone and then scoff at them when they mention the warranty. It’s hard to do that with my atrophied PC component knowledge and that pains me to some degree. There was a time, not so long ago, when I could tell you from memory the name of every microprocessor currently in wide circulation, including the internal/external clock and bus speeds, and just for uber-geek effect I could throw in the transistor count.

Posted by Jeff at 04:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The problem as I see it right now is that technology is destroying the fabric of our long held social systems and moral beliefs. In this epoch of inexpensive digital cameras and reprehensible websites like Flikr we can now peruse, at our leisure, every god damned schmuck’s family photos. Or, even more horrid, we can gaze slack jawed at what in previous ages were simply considered bad photos, but are now displayed before us as art. The veritable acme of this disaster is that I do it willingly. I’ve wasted considerable portions of a day scrolling through some mortal’s photographs even when I have no knowledge, in any way, of the context. And I’ve looked at photos, that had I produced them I would have thrown away, or deleted as the case may be, and tried to ponder their artistic merit assuming that the person who took time to upload them created them with some grand artistic intention.

Can we not return to those pure, true days of honesty and hope? Those days when people had to invite you over to their house and actually witness the terror in your eyes and see you physically recoil as they produced the photo album. This new system is far more subversive and nefarious, with god damned vacation and food smeared infant pictures seeping out of the pores of the Internet. It’s like the La Brea Tar Pits, or Venus Fly Traps or the dog’s water bowl where countless bees lost their lives…because they can’t swim. I haven’t been swimming in many fortnights…

Posted by Jeff at 08:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Apparently I have allergies to something. Probably from those cats. For the last week and a half I’ve been swinging back and forth between feeling crappy and feeling mildly alright. At first I thought that maybe it was the smoking and drinking, lack of diet and exercise. So I stopped all that nonsense, well mostly, and started dieting and exercising again, but I still feel like poo. (and it seems worse this week) Not used to having allergies, something in this god forsaken Big City air. All the pollutants I suppose and/or some mysterious allergen that appears at the onset of our faux-winter.

Should I take some medicine or bitch about it? Maybe both?

Posted by Jeff at 11:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Not surprising, Texans decided that we need a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Not surprising, but disappointing. I guess I roll with a uniquely liberal crowd, because I forget how ultra conservative the rest of my state is. I’m also a little perturbed that, at least to me, voting day popped up out of nowhere and I didn’t even know what issues were on the table until yesterday morning. Do you have to focus that much energy on governmental processes to be aware or was I not paying attention again? The news is on, typically, every morning as I get ready for work. I breeze through the Quick paper during reading time. Am I that unaware or are they deliberately not promoting voting day to the general public purposefully so that only those that “they” want to vote will be able to?

I don’t like to buy into conspiracy theories, so I’ll just chalk it up to me being a bad citizen. Politics flies so far off of my radar until I hear about it the day of. I would have like to have voted, there were at least a few issues that I felt like I was fairly informed on and/or at least wanted to make my voice heard, but I was caught unawares. No excuse really, I could have found my polling place during the course of my, ahem, busy work day and gone after work to vote. So not all “their” fault, I was lazy. Heh, now-a-days if I can’t get it sent right to my RSS reader I feel fairly inconvenienced.

Posted by Jeff at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

That was really disappointing, working out for a year, touching the summit of goals set and then loosing my grip and falling back down the mountain. What started out as a week off turned into about a month and as much as I want to say I'm surprised at how easy it is to go right back to old habits I'm really not overly astonished, at all.

The overall damage wasn't that bad, but I felt that this was the week that I needed to get back on course, nose to the grindstone again. I realized sometime back that I'm more than likely going to have to keep up some sort of diet and exercise regime for the rest of my life. My lifestyle involves way too much sedentary activity and if I don't purposefully create more cardiovascular activity I will slowly expand. The harsh reality of my realization became all to clear this past month, so I've rededicated myself to the regime.

I got up Monday morning and did my run/walk thing and was disappointed to find that my heart rate monitor had passed away. I briefly considered using this as an excuse to not exercise, but endeavored to push on and wing it from here on out. The heart rate monitor has been useful in keeping me from over doing it during cardio workouts, but I figure this will be a good opportunity to see if that stupid little gadget actually does any good.

Last night I got the newly purchased, and thus far rarely used, weight equipment out so as to get busy pumping that iron. I over did it on a few exercises and found myself flagging early on, some resting and whining ensued but I eventually managed to finish all my exercises. I got up bright and early again this morning for yet another run/walk expedition and while mildly horrifying due to soreness I felt pretty good about the effort. The disappointment came when I found out that the "changing of gate code" went into effect sometime between yesterday and when I tried to reenter the complex at 6:00 this morning. Of course, I couldn't remember the new code and ended up scaling the parking lot fence, happily with no major injury.

I'm not sure, but it would seem that someone is trying to tell me to be happy as a pasty, chubby white man. I'm still not convinced and I think I'd be much happier as a pasty, toned white man.

Posted by Jeff at 09:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wizard World was more or less un-thrilling in every way imaginable. I don't think it could have been any more underwhelming, the whole thing reeked of lack of effort, as if the organizers were simply too burnt out and bored of the whole menagerie. The guest list was a laughable yawn-fest, sure Summer Glau (River : Serenity) was mildly exciting under the context of Serenity's recent release, but not to the point where I was willing to shell out $30 to get her autograph. Unless, maybe, she was going to be signing my penis. Besides, we got to see her underwear from ten paces for free, I figure that was as thrilling as it was going to get.

I did manage to spend a good deal of money. Despite the redundancy of the vendors that did show up I still managed to find a few "50% off" trade paper back bins. I greatly increased my collection of Transmetropolitan TPB's, a couple more volumes of Beserk and some other's I'd been curious about, but have been unwilling to pay full market value for.

The highpoint of the whole ordeal was the Marvel panel, which included Brian Hitch who is the artist behind The Ultimates. The previewed the new Ultimates direct to DVD animated film that will be coming out soon and it looked good enough to get excited about. They'll also be popping out an Iron Man DVD and a Dr. Strange DVD over the next 12-18 months. I anticipate Iron Man, but I know doodle-squat about Dr. Strange.

So, yeah, glad I got in for free or I would have been majorly pissed at having been so blatantly ripped off. Tickets were essentially $20 a day, less if you got a package, but really after a few hours you'd seen everything there was to see. Hopefully next year will have a little more to offer.

Posted by Jeff at 03:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We are so quick to make all manner of excuses to justify our own little evils. We will go to great lengths to warp reality and tear down space and time to make our own actions palpable. We can accept others little evils to an extent and go through the same processes, though to varying degrees depending on how we view the individual or group to begin with. What I find interesting is that there is always that one line that we can't go across, that one threshold that will bring it all down and I don't think we know where that line really lies; either for ourselves or for others. Nor do we know what the repercussions will be.

Another oddity I became recently aware of. From what sources I have available and stories I've been privy to I've come to understand that women do not like to use the restroom in the company of other women. So, if that is indeed the case, why do I see women so often going to the bathroom in groups? I can only imagine the kind of stalemate that develops as a result of this paradox. Very curious.

Bugger, I had a third one, but its gone right out of my head as I wrote the first two.

Posted by Jeff at 01:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Wizard World is TEH comic book convention for the North Dallas area. Lots of Nerd/Geek stuff...guest list is a little lame this year...my main goal in attending is stock up on those 25-50% of trade paperbacks! Maybe dig through the quarter bins for oddball comics.

Posted by Jeff at 11:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I really hope I don't die from the Bird Flu. I think that would be giving insult to injury to die from the same thing that killed a chicken. Opossums kill chickens though, and let me tell you what; you do NOT want to fuck with an Opossum. Anyway... the job has been keeping me occupied for most of the week and I guess I can't complain, too loudly, that I'm forced to earn my wages from the State of Texas one week out of the year.

I completed the final season of Angel. A journey that began a year and a half ago with that first Buffy DVD finally ended earlier in the week. It has to be said, I have to put it out there, but the finale of Angel is far, FAR better than that of Buffy. I loved the way it ended without the clichéd final big battle. I like to think that the team realized we've been through that enough by now to know the drill and it also drove home the point that "it" doesn't stop, irregardless of what happens to the heroes the struggle will go on. I highly recommend Angel, the whole series is top notch and the end game really makes me feel like I didn't waste my time watching the whole thing.

Most likely I will be at Wizard World for at least some portion of this weekend. There is a very good chance that I will have my very own "press pass" and for that I'm quite excited. Not just because I would be saving those twenty clams, but also because I had to forge documents in order to get it. It's satisfying when crime does pay, especially in your favor. Yep, I'm a wild man. I've forged documents to get into the nerd prom.

PSA: I think it's obvious by now, but I'll say it anyway. Bourbon and blogging rarely behoove one another.

Posted by Jeff at 08:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I've decided it. I can no longer go through this thing you filthy people call life.
I just can't go on, not with the underwear that I currently have. I've suddenly become VERY aware that I don't have near enough novelty boxers to continue existing on this god damned plane of existence.
I have decided, and I'm sure you'll all be pleased, that next year I should definitely go as the "The Dude" for Halloween next year. It was so obvious that I didn't realize it until I saw some other sad schmuck trying pull it off. This was a role I was meant to play. I see it now... so clearly.

Posted by Jeff at 12:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monster reality settling in
Destructive repetitive currents
Eager disassembling forces
Constant looping conundrums
Begging effervescent dialogue
Meandering pandering submissives
Leaking loving melodic lyrics
Masticating internal organs
Delivering stillborn afterbirth
Reverberating masturbation
Distilled coagulating emotion
Constructing in the fast forward
Absentee vanderhalling wishes
Dreamy misanthropic ideals
Confusing panhandling doxology
With blanked out methodology
Disconcerted with pleasurability
Isn't that the point?

Posted by Jeff at 12:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm sure there will be a day where you, all my filthy readers, will gather in small groups to discuss how you knew me back when. In the days before my jump to stardom as an NHL Star, but as you can all see I shant be long in dwelling amongst you lower sorts. My true calling has finally been realized and I shall soon be playing for the NHL franchise of my choice, with a Robot Monkey of my very own.

I do promise that I will not forget the little people�

Do you have what it takes to join me?

Posted by Jeff at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)