Unwanted Commentary

Sometimes it's the little victories in life that are the sweetest. Or maybe I'm just really desperate. Both, possibly, could be true. My campaign against the evil dictatorship of Cloggedsinkastan has been a long and arduous one. What started out as a free flowing and accepting democracy slowly solidified into a restrictive and opposing police state. For sure negotiations were used at first, talks broke down from time to time and an uneasy peace would ensue. This was the way of things, a sort of never ending cycle and tensions began to rise.

There were some air raids dealt out after sanctions failed to yield results. Heavy bombardment was dealt out at the very center of Cloggedsinkastan's infrastructure, but the results were wildly disappointing. As is so often the case with shock and awe tactics I neither shocked, nor awed. The little dictatorship simply glared back at me defiantly and after due consideration as to the expenditure of previously used ordinance I backed down from military operations. Another uneasy period came about, no talks were held and both sides seem to just accept each other.

This is not to say that my administration had totally lost interest in the tenuous situation in the Middle Bathroom, its attention had simply been diverted by the state of Tolietseatvia suddenly trying to break away from its mother country of Commodia. And let me tell you this, that volatile situation has yet to be resolved satisfactorily. War has yet to be declared, but delicate negotiations are still underway. It goes without saying that my administration has vested interest in maintaining good relationships with both entities as we are heavy exporters to that nation and both are vital to that endeavor. I feel optimistic that a solution is just around the corner, though, as soon as adequate funds are appropriated.

But I've digressed. I'm proud to say that the situation with Cloggedsinkastan has, at last, been resolved and it appears for the betterment of all involved. I do regret to say that the solution was not reached without military action, but no alternative was left and great care was taken to minimize the conflict. The decision to go ahead with forced regime change came after trusted advisor Mom observed the situation and suggested a change in ordinance if not necessarily tactics. After brief consideration the go ahead was given and supplies were procured after an emergency spending bill was hurriedly pushed through.

Yesterday, beginning in the early evening the initial stages of the plan started. Special Baking Soda forces were air dropped deep inside enemy territory and then backed up by sections of the White Vinegar Corps. Sadly, regrettably, casualties were high and several waves were needed to really root out the trouble makers. There were a few surprises as things didn't necessarily work out as I had intended. Evaluations of the scenario had predicted that the regime would make a hasty retreat and never be heard from again. It turned out that they were doughty and persistent fighters, rising up to engage my forces while the assault continued. As they exposed themselves, a final decision had to be made and with a hesitant heart I ordered in my armored clothes-hangar division. It wasn't pretty and my administration's hands got dirty as a result, but in the end the opposing forces were defeated, rounded up and sent to internment camps in Commodia. Stragglers are known to have fled, washed away by the return of free flowing democracy.

So things have quieted down in that area of the apartment and with every trip to the region I had to stop and marvel at how well things were flowing in the newly named state of Sinkastan. Pride swelled in knowing that I had played a major part in bringing freedom to an oppressed and impoverished land. Now I have to do something about Commodia, but there's no need to flush…er…rush into things.

God Bless my bathroom.