Unwanted Commentary

One of the things that I'd hoped to accomplish with our journey to the great South West was to get to connect with my 15 year old cousin who went with my parents and me. What I discovered is that it's very difficult to connect with teenage girls, not that this is any kind of fucking surprise.

She's as close to a sister, or any sibling, that I've ever had. I was 14 when she was born and I watched her grow up. I've always felt bad about living in Dallas and not getting to see her as much as she's gotten older, but I've made an effort to be there to see her when I could. I saw her graduate 8th grade (yes, our school has an 8th graduation), went home for Homecoming to see her march in the band and made the trip back home to see her march in the District band competition.

I've never been good at talking to kids, and I've never felt that more when I'm around her. I feel like I should be there to help her or answer questions or give "big brother" advice, but honestly I think she's ahead of me on most of that…I was such a lame ass in High School anyway. Fortunately she's a good kid and she has my whole family looking after her, including my mother who works in the school system…though I do sympathize with her on having the –whole- family looking after her…I went through the same thing, but it does keep one out of trouble…goddamn it.

We did get one opportunity to walk around alone and chit-chat on a somewhat equal level and I enjoyed it a whole lot. It's funny how much I see of myself in her when I was that age, there are a lot of similarities and I'm glad. I was so conservative in High School and while I regret it to a certain degree, I'm happy that I didn't fuck my life up back then, because I would have been the one that did…I would have been the one they make after school specials about…such is my luck. I am happy to say that she's not as much of a lame-ass as I was, she's popular and outgoing where I absolutely was not. I'm also relieved that she hasn't succumbed to the "thin at any cost" mentality that seems to pervade the culture of teenage girls.

She plans on going to college here in Dallas, so I look forward to being able to hang out with her more when she's older. Of course, what 18 year old college girl wants to hang out with their lame-ass, twice divorced, 33 year old cousin…lol. But thinking positively, maybe I can influence her young, nubile sorority sisters.