Unwanted Commentary

So I hop over to The Dallas Morning News website to see what's shakin', I'm bored and work has slowed down a bit since this morning, so I figure I can get away with reading the newspaper online without looking like I'm slaking too much. Right off the bat I spot an article with an odd name "Teen mother's 5th is cause for pity, not party" by Jacquielynn Floyd. Curious I read the article and find out it's about a young woman who gave birth to quadruplets, two sets of identical twins, at 18 and now at 19 is having a fifth child.

Ms. Floyd discusses how this is a pitiful story, about how teenage pregnancy is a cycle of poverty and how the teen in question faces a long, hard road, blah, blah, blah. I don't disagree with her on any of that, the heart cringes as you read this article, both for the mother and the children. I can't imagine what their lives must be like and simply can't fathom being in that situation. I sincerely hope and pray that things work out for the best. Ms. Floyd also mentioned that all the children were fathered by the same man.

This is where I got a little upset or bewildered, maybe both. I'm a little puzzled as the article, and another that basically tells the same story, doesn't put much focus on this man. It goes to great lengths to explore all the other aspects of the situation, but this guy who it seems to me is the root of all evil…so to speak. I learned from the article that this guy was 27 and married when he started wooing a 17 year old girl. Now that he's given her five children he doesn't support them financially at all, nor does he even involve himself in their lives, at least to no significant level.

Is it just me? Or does this dick-smack sound like a total fucking scum bag? Yeah sure the girl bears some responsibility. After all it takes two to tango, but sweet Jesus, she's seventeen. Remember when you were seventeen? Yeah, you didn't know shit. Not only is this fuck-wad married and 27, he hits on teenage girls, fucks them, gets them pregnant and then leaves them. But wait there's more! He goes back and does it again! Why is this guys head not on a gawddamned pike?

The grandmother of the young lady even says that her granddaughter was lonely and vulnerable after her mother moved away. So this guy, Jimmy Calabrese slinks in and exploits her…he fucking uses her…does all the right things to get what he wants and leaves her with four, now five, kids. The level of his evil, irresponsible, malicious behavior here simply staggers my mind beyond rational thought.

I know, I know, there's no laws, no way to prosecute. I think the saddest thing, and I speak from a male point of view here, is the following stat: Almost 80% percent of the dirt-bags who get teenage girls pregnant don't marry those girls AND they pay less than $800 annually in child support. I could probably get over the not marrying part, but the lack of financial support is beyond comprehension and the fact there is obviously no way to make them pay is flabbergasting. This is what we're teaching young men these days?

Getting back to my main point, why doesn't the article roast this guy? They seemingly brush over it, but don't point any fingers or make any scathing comments; and it would seem to me that this is an opportune time for some scathing and finger pointing! I guess you can't bash a whole gender though, at least in the newspaper, but I can fucking say something about it. Even as a straight guy there's a lot that men do that drives me nuts, but it's this kind of shit that just makes me ill. It's times and situations like these that I think public floggings would benefit our society immensely.

Posted by Jeff at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Since I've had more time on my hands as of late, I've started playing around with my guitar again. I've been strumming around on it while I watch movies or while chatting online. My fingers are toughening up again and it's pretty cool how much I remember from almost four years ago.

Now mind you, I'm not any good at this whole guitar thing. I do like to try however. I've been slightly perturbed that I can't find any of my learning material that I was going over back in the day. I had a CD with instructional stuff on it and I had a book on how to play rhythm guitar (if you knew how little rhythm I posses you would find the mirthful irony in that statement) and I can't find either one now. So, I'm more or less left strumming around on what I remember. Which is probably enough for now, I seem to be able to make more than sufficient racket with what I have.

The title has nothing to do with the actual post...I just thought it sounded funny.

Posted by Jeff at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ugh, back to the grind. Today has been busy and it was so terribly difficult to crawl out of bed, go to the gym, get ready for work and then actually go to work.

I went to Waco of Thanksgiving and spent it with the parents...we had a nice time. We ate at Park's Family Buffett for our Thanksgiving dinner...I now it sounds sacreligous, but their food is so awesome...and no dishes afterwards...no leftovers either which is a bit of a downside. We vedged the rest Thursday, I don't remember anything too exciting happening.

I watched Shrek 2 and SW: Episode 2 again...it was fun to watch those a second time, especially Shrek 2, I'm a big Shrek fan. I watched The Day the Earth Stood Still. A great early sci-fi film, but watching it from our perspective it seems a little corny...I wonder if someone could do a good remake of it?

Friday was fun, the folks took me to this little Mexican food place and I had the best breakfast burrito I've had in a long, long time. I had chorizo, egg and potato with cheese and the salsa was superb. Let's see...we went and saw The Incredible and if you haven't seen it you really should...especially if you like comics and superheros...I enjoyed the Watchmen flavor to it...amongst other things. We watched Texas and Texas A&M play, I was pleased that the Longhorns won, but it wasn't much of a game. The mother and I went and watched a HighSchool playoff game that evening: Palestine High vs. Conally HS. It was almost a good game, but Palestine was a little better and got the good breaks.

We went out for breakfast on Saturday morning at Luby's; which had a breakfast buffet (big weekend for buffets)...it was surprisingly good...I ate too much again. After breakfast I packed and head back home...I love seeing my family, but I was ready to get back to my home. I completely wasted the rest of the weekend, nothing uneventful happened, 'cept I drank way too much and stayed up too late.

I did watch Buffy Season 3 Dic 6, the last of that season...I now eagerly await Season 4 Disc 1...and now Angel 1:1. Mystic River came in with this batch of Netflix, so I watched it as well. I dunno, it was good, the acting was great, the story was interesting...but I didn't get too excited about it...it was vaugely predictable and in the end I didn't feel like it went anywhere...really. I'm probably going to watch Yojimbo..another Kirosawa film...so far I've loved everything he's done...that I've seen.

I'm feeling lazy...it's gray and rainy again and I felt a little ill earlier this morning...I can't really think of anything to write about, so I'm just doing some lazy ass journaling. I'm contemplating going to the store to pick up a cheap sketch pad...I found my "how to draw" books and I'm feeling drawn to drawing.

Anyways...hope everyone is surviving the post-Thanksgiving holiday fallout...don't worry, Chirstmas vacation will soon be here.

Posted by Jeff at 02:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Turkey day is upon us. In about twenty-four hours I will be eating myself into devastating oblivion and I can't wait.

Of course, this is the time of year where we supposedly bring our thankfulness to the forefront and let God or life or loved ones know that we're grateful...sometimes, simply acknowledging that things aren't as bad as they could be. Personally I have a few things I'm not too fuckin' thankful for, but I think that overall I have a huge bounty of stuff that I'm puttin' in the Thankful column.

Life is about bad and good, transition, change and chaos...it's sometimes no easy task to find the things we should be thankful for. But in the milelu that is our world you just have to step back and take in the beauty, orthodox, unorthodox, expected or unexpected, that is swirling and sweeping around us all.

For instance, as I drove into work today I was simply thankful to be alive...to be experiencing the moment as I drove down that city street towards my place of employment. The grumbly, gray overcast sky was lurking heavily above; drizzle was falling lazily so that you have to put your windshield wipers on that annoying interval setting. The streets were slick and the dark pavement had a lustery sheen that reflected the oddly vibrant street lights back into the air. The radio reported all the people, in record numbers, moving about the country for this holiday. The traffic and the pedestrians all seemed to glide about this backdrop as if programed into some sort of urban dance routine.

I found myself thinking about how energized the world seemed at that moment. The whole frenetic, chaotic conundrum was moving and pulsing with life...and I was thankful...at that moment, as my wipers moved in intervals that never seem set at the right speed, that I was a part it. A part of this big, bungling organism; a teeming, clumsy life force that was embroiled in it's own concerns, and I was a part of it.

Happy Fucking Thanskgiving!

Posted by Jeff at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I feel I should follow that up with something a little more up beat, because all-in-all it was a good weekend. I went out with some other neighbors on Friday to watch the Mavs game, which was a fairly exciting game, even though I'm not much into basketball. We did get to see the big fight live as it was happening. That was pretty unbelievable and I'm glad the harsh punishments were handed out, now they need to do something about those fans! I had some good talk time with another neighbor, Amy, who I think is really cute and I always enjoy chit-chatting with her.

Saturday was pretty quiet, I loaded up on junk food for my free day and watched movies and slept. I listened to the Baylor/OU game on the radio, hoping that maybe Baylor might pull out some kind of miracle, but alas it was not to be. I talked on the phone with a new friend and had a really good time getting to know her a little bit.

Sunday was role-playing day, and outside of showing up to the session late and without my character sheet, I had a good time. I've decided to change my workout style up a little bit. I'm going to try and focus a little more on cardio instead of so much weights and Sunday morning was my first try at this. Despite too little sleep and a little hangover grogginess I managed to get out and do a solid twenty-minute run. I got checks written for my bills and packaged up the Netflix DVD's for mailing back and then I went to freakin' bed…after talking to Trinity for a bit. As I was trying to get to sleep a big storm roamed overhead and kept me up with its obnoxiously loud thunder…so inconsiderate.

Sorry for the random, meandering nature of the post, but I'm not in the mood to be all verbose or precise.

Posted by Jeff at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I feel so prickly right now, tired and out of sorts, grumpy and cranky. The weather is overcast and grey, at least the air is cool and I don't mind the rain…I typically like this kind of weather, but it's not helping my mood. Of course, I did something stupid on Saturday night and I'm beating myself up over it.

After a nice evening out on the porch having fun conversation and listening to music with my neighbor I ruined it by making a pass at her. I cringe even as I write it, but it happened and I can't deny it. At the same time I find it very amusing and upsetting. Typically I wouldn't feel bad about something like this, but it was inappropriate and I knew better. I knew that she was with someone. Fortunately she was really cool about it, and we said goodnight and other pleasantries before we both went back inside. I don't anticipate any fallout from it, but I do feel disappointed in myself.

It wasn't even a good pass and I'm not sure it really was a pass. Admittedly it was very late, around two in the morning and both of us were definitely less than sober. The conversation had been light and fluffy most of the evening, but somehow got steered into religion and moral philosophy. Now I'm not an expert on either, but I will gleefully talk out of my ass on both topics at great length. My neighbor had explicitly told me that she didn't like discussing such things, but after I found out she was an atheist I couldn't help myself. Things understandably get a little fuzzy after that, but I'd like to think she was more put out by my pushing the conversation in an undesired direction than my convoluted point about kissing.

Really, I had a point. I was trying to get across the point that if I didn't believe in God, thus not having a basis for morality, and that kissing her would be acceptable even though I knew she was with someone. I like to think that I had some deeper point to make off of it, but I'm not sure in the state I was in that I could have gone much further. I did want to kiss her, she's cute, but I didn't really expect it to happen. The idea of throwing something like that out there and seeing what happened was too overwhelming, so I did it. But I hate thinking that I upset her or gave her a bad impression of myself, because I'm not really like that…or maybe I am?

Anyway, seeing as we've been neighbors for over a year and this is only the second time I've even spoken to her, I'm not too worried about it (I'm sure you can agree, as writing this much about certainly means I'm not too worried about it). It just wasn't my best moment, and I aggravate myself by doing things like this that are fortunately fairly rare. At least things ended cordially; maybe I can just chalk this up to being too drunk, too tired and too charged up about conversation. I'll be good from now on, promise.

Posted by Jeff at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Even the slow places are fast, here. Yeah, I know that doesn't make much sense. The reaction, it's bit like having a stroke. You can never find the right way to put things. Even in a quiet place, all the changes still hit you. The future is a dense place.

Everything you look at tells you it's the future. But everything you hear is the same old same old.

- Transmetropolitan

Posted by Jeff at 02:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hotel Consierge: These two will lead you to the elevator and on to our most valued guest. After the interview's done, I trust I'll never see you within a hundred yards of the Hotel Fat again.

Spider Jerusalem: Not unless I break in one night with a batch of dynamite strapped to a bunch of dead weasels to create an explosive meat geyser all over your lobby.

- Transmetroplitan
The New Scum 3: New President

Posted by Jeff at 04:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes you have to stop, you have to look at the TV and cock an eyebrow. If you find yourself scratching your head in bemusement as to what I'm referring to, I'm referring to these two teenage girls who have allegedly poisoned a dozen or so classmates with a cake made of non-traditional ingredients. And surely this is enough to make you rub your eyes at the senselessness of it all, but I don't want to shoot my mouth off about the girls or their motives. I don't want to ponder whether it was a prank gone too far or an act of malicious terrorism.

No, what bothered me the most about this news story was the interview with the father. At least I'm pretty sure he's the father, I'm sure it said somewhere, but I was busy trying not to be late for work. All the time I hear stories about people not accepting blame, passing the proverbial buck or whatever you like to call it. I so rarely see it, though, that it becomes like the Abominable Snowman or UFO's. Something confounding to me that others claim to have seen, but nothing I've ever experienced myself. I'm sure I'm being overly dramatic, but bear with me.

As I crisscrossed the apartment hastily throwing on clothes and promising the cats that I would feed them before I left, I listened to this gentleman talk about his daughter and the incident for which they'd been arrested. I gathered this from his articulation: obviously the school was at fault, they without a doubt new about his daughter's past troubles and her poor judgment. His proof lay in the numerous phone calls he received from the school administration or faculty when she acted out in class. Did I overhear something about dancing? And how could you disagree that he should be outraged at the Juvenile Authorities as well; I mean he had put his faith in them and on their recommendation allowed his daughter into public school. It went on like in this vein, and suddenly realized I'd seen Bigfoot on national television.

The great expanding void that exploded in front of me was this man's complete lack of self-examination. I really think he blamed everyone and everything except himself, I'm sure if he had time he would have fingered Bush and the war in Iraq. Evidently the way he's raised his daughter has had no bearing on her actions or how she's developed from the lesson's he's taught her. I don't want to take the moral high ground here, maybe that's too late, but I would have been forced look at myself and asked, "What did I do that led to my child getting arrested for fucking poisoning?". I'm a kook that way.

I don't want to be presumptuous and make assumptions about how this girl, or her friend, was raised. I like to give benefit of the doubt and think that all the adults involved in their lives have tried their level best to bring them up right. Maybe these girls really do have problems that good parenting just couldn't overcome, perhaps their parents thought that the authorities knew best and found put their faith there after all they tried failed. Something, a deep gut feeling, tells me this isn't the case. In the end all I see is a sad situation involving two very young people who are surrounded by adults who are only going to exacerbate their problems.

ex·ac·er·bate: To increase the severity, violence, or bitterness of; aggravate: a speech that exacerbated racial tensions; a heavy rainfall that exacerbated the flood problems.

I can't believe I used exacerbate in a sentence.

Posted by Jeff at 08:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What a craptastic day it is, at least weather-wise. No sun, it's actually dark outside at 11:17 AM. It's raining, drizzling and humid...it doesn't even have the descency to be cold...instead we get warm and muggy. It's like walking around in a jogger's crotch.

Posted by Jeff at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have the best friend in the world. Trinity got me all decked out with the newest version of MT and then she whipped up this kick ass Hellboy theme...I helped by finding the Hellboy font on dafont.com.

I've only just started entering the vast ocean of comics, but I've really become enamored of Hellboy. It started when I watched the movie and I was hooked when I saw the artwork of the comics in the special features section. I really enjoy, what to me, is simplistic art, but with bold lines and strong contrasts...Mignola seems to be able to get as much across with his sparse detail and many other artists do with the exact opposite. And there's the ever present Hellboy with his bright red vissage, throwing everything out of whack in a very subdued, dark and drab world.

Hellboy himself is a wonderful character concept, from how he files down his horns to "fit in" to the fact that he could bring about the end of the world, but doesn't because he's a good guy. For me he brings a lot of male machoism and swagger, but tempered by humility and good will. Someone who has seen what the extent of his power could be, but doesn't accept it and doesn't want to think about it, and continues to kick bad guy ass. I love contradiction and Hellboy is full of it.

My favorite moment, so far, is in what I mistakenly thought was the first trade volume. A very young Hellboy is fed pancakes and the demons of hell mourn, "He has eaten the pancake, he is lost to us forever."

Posted by Jeff at 09:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

chortle \CHOR-tl\, transitive and intransitive verb:
To utter, or express with, a snorting, exultant laugh or
chuckle.
noun:
A snorting, exultant laugh or chuckle.

I fucking love to chortle!

Posted by Jeff at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The cats are evidently enjoying their weight-loss cat food more than they did before. I say this because I fed them before I went to bed. This is strategically done so I'm not awakened by furry feet scampering over my head or shrill meows at 4:00 AM protesting the lack of food in the bowl. Typically filling the bowl before bedtime prevents an early morning torture session, but somewhere I made a miscalculation, because this is exactly what happened.

Now most of the time I'm a reasonable person, logical and accepting that in situations I don't like that I should suck it up, deal with it and move on. This is what I should have done this morning, but I did not. Get up, check the bowl, and go back to bed. Long experience has taught me that no matter how many times you throw the cat off the bed, or yell at him to shut up, it just isn't going to happen....it just perpetuates the situation...I don't sleep and the cats stay hungry.

I was neither logical nor reasonable this morning. I yelled at the cat, I flung the cat, I shifted violently in bed so the cat would leave, but the cat persisted, neigh insisted that the bowl was empty and I get up to feed him and his brother. I feel that it's important to emphasize that I was under the delusion, and this is backed up by past example, that since I had fed them before going to bed that there was still plenty of food in the bowl. When I finally acquiesced and arose from my non-slumbering state I did indeed find that the bowl was empty. I hate it when the cat is right.

An interesting, perhaps amusing, aside is how my two cats participate in this morning ritual of torture. First, a little background, they are littermates, brothers and unquestionably different from one another, apart from bearing the exact same color and markings. One is big and bulky, shy and anti-social. The other is small, skinny and annoyingly social. He craves it and thrives off of it. If you come over he'll be in your lap purring quaintly in about ten minutes.

But I've digressed. Getting back to the point, the small one is the actual perpetrator of said torture, scampering, needing and meowing on my non-slumbering form as I try to escape under the covers. It's hard to explain how disturbing it is to roll over, as I try to throw off the small one, and see the statuesque figure of his brother standing in the hallway, staring malevolently at the goings-on. If I didn't know better I'd say he was smirking.

Posted by Jeff at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This is my thank you to all veterans out there, past and present, living and dead, who willing or unwilling served this country in the armed forces. You and your families have given a lot of yourselves to ensure freedom for us all and I am very grateful for all that you've done.

Happy Veteran's Day

"Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain. . . . The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion . . . and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself--ultimate cost for perfect value."

Jean V. Debois
Starship Troopers
- Robert A. Heinlein

Posted by Jeff at 10:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"

I can never remember the 3 laws, not that it's pivotal information to have at a moments notice, but still.

Posted by Jeff at 09:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

But on the last day he seemed to be trying to find out what we had
learned. One girl told him bluntly: "My mother says that violence never
settles anything."
"So?" Mr. Dubois looked at her bleakly. "I'm sure the city fathers of
Carthage would be glad to know that. Why doesn't your mother tell them so?
Or why don't you?"
They had tangled before -- since you couldn't flunk the course, it
wasn't necessary to keep Mr. Dubois buttered up. She said shrilly, "You're
making fun of me! Everybody knows that Carthage was destroyed!"
"You seemed to be unaware of it," he said grimly. "Since you do know
it, wouldn't you say that violence had settled their destinies rather
thoroughly? However, I was not making fun of you personally; I was heaping
scorn on an inexcusably silly idea -- a practice I shall always follow.
Anyone who clings to the historically untrue -- and thoroughly immoral --
doctrine that `violence never settles anything' I would advise to conjure up
the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them
debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the
Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has
settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary
opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic
truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms."

Excerpt from Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein

Posted by Jeff at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well there is no such thing as you
It doesn't matter what you do
The more you try to qualify
The more it all will pass you by

Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is

Well the more you try to shake the cat
The more the thing will bite and scratch
Its best I think to leave its fur and to listen to its silky purr

Some people like to make life a little tougher than it is

- Cake: Pressure Chief

Posted by Jeff at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

…Because today is Friday. What a fucking week it's been. We went live with our Track-It! Enterprise server on Monday and between handling an atypically heavy work load and attempting to tweak the TI server, I've been swamped. I mean running around with your hair on fire kind of swamped, of course this is coming from a guy who spends a lot of time fucking off at work...but really I've been busy.

I'm impressed with how well I've handled it all. I would have predicted total melt down on Sunday if I had known what I would have to go through this week. It has been so long since I've had to handle a heavy work load, with stress, that I didn't remember what it was like or how I dealt with it. I've always felt like I was the kind of person that could deal under pressure pretty well, even excel, but I've never been certain. This week has been reassuring for my confidence.

Having to handle some of the admin burden on the new TI server has also been a boost. I've recently questioned whether or not I had any drive left to take hold of a task and run with it. After this week I've elevated my own self worth in this department a few notches, but it's an area I know I need to keep an eye on.

But I am so happy that it's Friday, relieved even, between working out every day and dealing with my job...I need a fucking break. Tomorrow I get to experience the wackiness that is the Wizard World comic con for the first time. This is my second con and after a quasi-disappointing first experience (it wasn't the weird out scene that I had anticipated) I'm looking forward to WW.

Posted by Jeff at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"I used to rock and roll all night and party e-ve-ry day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky."

- Homer Simpson

Posted by Jeff at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"By four o' clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead."

- Spider Jerusalem
Year of the Bastard 5: Love

Posted by Jeff at 09:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It can sometimes be depressing to see how many really talented people are out there. There are so many things I like to or would like to dabble in, but I always get 'put off' when I realize that there's no way I'll ever measure up to what these people are doing. I just can't seem to find inspiration from my betters, I just feel beat down.

I think this constant overcast, bleary weather is starting to get me down.

Posted by Jeff at 03:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Great weekend. After a really rough Friday I went home and got hammered out of my mind because I felt the need to. At some point in the evening I went to the pub and watched a band (the Corsairs) for a little while, but since I smelt of bug repelent I didn't stay long. Roamed around the apartment complex and watched some soft-core porn on the TV by the pool. It was an interesting night and that's about all I remember.

I arose about 9:30ish on Saturday and played board games from about 11:00 till 7:00 PM (European board games). Went to the halloween party and got there around 9:30ish...had a great time there, talkin' and drinkin'...I love hanging out with good friends and I really do have a good group of friends. I made it home about 3:30, or well 2:30 because of the time change and zonked out.

Had to get up and come to work about 8:30 on Sunday and staid there until 3:30ish, got my work out in and then fiddled around the apartment until bed time.

The time change is fuckin' with me, as I'm sure it's fuckin' with everyone. I always welcome it though as it signals the oprotunity for winter like weather in Texas, which I love...and it means there's only an hour difference between me & D.

*sigh*
work

Posted by Jeff at 01:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)