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I wonder if I'm going to get really sick of all the September 11th remembering that's going on. I feel guilty about that too, maybe I'm not being sensitive enough. Since my life wasn't in any way shape or form touched by the events of this day a year ago I am understandably unattached. I have read a few things on the Internet and they were very emotional to me, I feel the feelings of sadness, remorse, tragedy and all the other stock emotions. I do wonder why exactly. I don't wonder why I have these feelings, but why do I want to feel them and perhaps the better question is how much?
How much do I need to remember and relive this day? Does it really do anything for me other than instigating a depressed mood? Does that make me less of an American, less of a person? I don't know really, I do feel that I've read and watched enough emotional, and technical, material about the attacks. Perhaps in my mind I've accepted what happened, and recognize that all I can really do about it is move on and live my life just as I did before (as much as that is really possible, I have discovered that there are just certain things (thought patterns mostly) that are forever changed because of Sept. 11, 2001).
I wonder then, why do we want to reread accounts and remember the pain so vividly, feel the emotions that are so harsh that they can cripple you. Healing, obviously it's healing to let these emotions out and deal with them, as a guy that's a harder concept than I like. I think also we try to share the burden of those more directly effected by these events, that by attending a memorial or reading accounts of people on the web we become a part of it and in some way take our share of if all. The last thing I can think of is perhaps it's the same thing as getting on a roller coaster or watching a scary movie. Perhaps we love to spark our emotional nature, strain it and stretch it so that we can then return to our normal lives and relative safety.